My Life with Twins

Genetics and Autism Proven.... Anecdotally

2012-02-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

I read alot that Autism is genetic. That if you have one child with autism, the probability of autism in your other children increases. I know in our family, the twins both have Aspergers. I also know a woman in our local Autism support group where she has three kids, all with Autism.

The other evening I went to a Moms night out for parents of children with special needs.

We did the introductions at the beginning.

It amazed me, while going around the room and hearing of the families represented, that every woman there who had more than one child, had at least two children with special needs.

As with our boys, they don't all fall at the same level of the spectrum.

For some reason, I found that comforting. That it wasn't just my genes screwing up my boys, that it really IS possible that genetics play a part in this.

Autism and a "normal" life

2012-02-06T22:05:00.000-05:00

Last night we watched "Glee" and Will went to Emma's his parents and ask for their permission for him to marry her.

They said they would not give permission to Will because of Emma's OCD and how debilitating it is and how they did not want Will to have to live a life with someone so excessive and how impossible it would be for everyone to live with her.

I even had made the comment when she was cleaning the Christmas ornaments with a toothbrush that Will was voluntarily signing himself up to live a life like that.

After having some time to think about it is it really much different than having a child with autism?

Lifet with Jamie hasn't been easy, and many times is a pain in the neck.

But would I really want to deny Jamie the right to have a normal life like everyone else because it might inconvenience someone?

As a parent your first thought is it's not their fault they are and I am going to Love them regardless. Is it really that different than learning that someone you have fallen in love with has a problem that you need to work around?

Even if you don't have ASD, or depression, or OCD.... everyone has problems. Everyone comes with baggage. Is one really worse than the other?

Jamie isn't easy to live with. Heck, I'm not either. But if you love someone, you love them regardless. Everyone has the right to live a life full of love and acceptance. If you can't deal with it, then leave.

Friends and connections

2012-02-06T21:55:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how you can connect with people. Many moons ago (like 10 years), I had a great group of friends that most of them I'd never met. We knew each other from forums and then we all lit up LiveJournal like a Xmas tree.

We were all so invested in each other's lives, the ups, downs, miscarriages, cheating spouses, etc.

The boys came, and I sort of got lost. Way too busy to post on LiveJournal. Way too tired after working and taking care of boys to post, to keep up.

When Facebook came out, it was my chance to reconnect. And I did, sorta, with my friends. But apparently Facebook has decided to only let me see what it wants me to see. grrrr

Tonight I found out that a very dear friend of mine had her whole life turn upside down the last 2 years. She stuck with school, graduated, is in a career she loves, and has moved on from the man who was never any good for her and I hated what he put her through.

My first reaction. I almost started crying. I knew her struggles, her pain, her trying to hold on because of their son, the agony she was in. To look back over pictures of her the last year with pure joy and happiness radiating from her face, to talk to her briefly tonight and see her happy... My heart is so full. I'm so happy.

Alot of people think it's impossible to be good friends with someone you've never met. It's not. Sometimes not having the person in front of you allows you to open up more than you usually would.

And besides, I met my hubby on the net :)

When you promote someone, you need to learn to let go

2012-01-21T22:48:00.000-05:00

When you have an exemplary employee. Someone who you rely on for their judgement, brains, talent, it's quite normal to promote them. Give them new challenges, watch them grow even more.

The ability to not think of yourself, but think of the betterment of the organization by promoting them is what all managers should do. To not pigeon-hole your employees and leave them stuck in a position they have outgrown, shows planning and maturity.

But there comes a point when you need to let go.

Not everyone in the working world works the same. There are no two people, no matter if they have the same education, skills, experience, etc. that will produce two identical people. You may have two people with similar skill-sets, similar desires to succeed, similar ways of thinking, but they will never be IDENTICAL.

When you make the decision to promote an employee, you have to be willing to let go. You have to recognize that the next person who comes in to fill that position will not be the carbon copy of the person you just promoted. This new person may have more experience, less education, a different history, and all individuals are different. Period.

You've faced a tedious process in interviewing potential employees, maybe even test-driving one or two to learn it wouldn't work out, and you now have a new employee.

There will be a learning curve as you get to know each other. The new person may make mistakes. The new person may go to their predecessor and ask for advice. But they will never BE their predecessor.

You have to have faith that you hired that new person for a reason. You know they're qualified, you have a feeling on their work ethic, their commitment to the organization, and you have to believe that the new employee is trying the best they can. They are trying to assimilate to a new company culture, trying to feel YOU out as well, trying to learn all the intricacies of the job their predecessor had down pat.

But you need to let go. It's unfair to the new employee, the predecessor, and yourself to expect that this person can come into the job and be that other person. You have to respect that everyone has different ways of doing things, and that doesn't mean it's BAD, it's DIFFERENT.

You need to let go. If you won't give that new employee a chance to show you what they can do, then in all fairness to everyone, you shouldn't have promoted the predecessor.

What if ...

2012-01-18T17:27:00.001-05:00

You know, maybe some women can do it all.

They can take care of their kids, their husbands, their homes, AND hold down a demanding job.

Maybe some women are phenomenal women.

Maybe some women can take autism in stride. They can handle the emotional rollercoaster in stride and go with it.

Maybe some women are fantastic mothers.

Maybe some women are so good at their job, they strike fear in other people.

Maybe some women can have it all.

And maybe some women can't.

Maybe for some women, it takes all their emotional stamina to get out the door on the mornings.

Maybe the stress of being yelled at, hit, punched, openly defied, being powerless to help their child is so overwhelming the thought of doing anything else is terrifying.

Maybe work itself can be rewarding, but you don't have the ability to do both?

What if, in your quest to do it all, you fail at both?

What if you can't do both?

What if, in trying to do both, you suck as a mother, wife, homemaker, and employee?

What if you've failed so miserably, that you can't do anything?

You're seen as a terrible mother who doesn't want to engage with her children, you don't even believe you can engage your children.

You're seen as a terrible employee, easily overwhelmed and no longer on top of it all?

What if everyone would be better off without you?

When did I grow up?

2011-12-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

From the time you're a child, you're told wait til you grow up.

When you're a child, you count down days til your birthday. You're not merely 6, you're 6 and 3/4. We had a tradition. Mom and Dad would take me out to dinner in Frederick, we'd go to the mall, and I'd get my picture with Santa.

Then at some point, we grow up.

I was reminded of this 2 years ago on my birthday. I worked all day, went to the grocery store to pick up the cake I had to order for myself, went to the pizza place to pick up pizza, and then came home. I was immediately greeted by an excited 4 year old, who came running to me and yelling Happy Birthday Mommy....and threw up on me.

That was when I knew I was grown up.

This year, tomorrow I'll be 37. I'm sick, hubby is sick, I'm in pain with an eye problem that's going to get worse as I age, and my birthday will be spent at a Xmas party for boy scouts, and awaiting snow. No dinner out with mommy and daddy, no Santa.

I love my family. But for some reason this year, I miss when I was a kid. I miss the excitement. Having people REMEMBER it's my birthday, sing happy birthday to me, go out to my favorite restaurant with mommy and daddy, Santa.

When did I grow up? Can I go back to being a kid?

Map-Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy

2011-12-05T22:09:00.002-05:00

I went to the doctor. It's nice I finally have a word for what's wrong with me, but aggravating because there is no cure, and this is going to get worse.

I have severe dry-eye coupled with something called Map-Dot-Fingerprint Dystrophy. Basically my eyes aren't flat, they are rough with all these valleys. So tears and drops tend to fill in the valleys, but don't really get to the whole of my eye.

"Complications of Map-dot-fingerprint Dystrophy?
In some cases, epithelial erosion may occur. Epithelial erosion can expose the nerves lining the cornea, causing severe pain. The cornea's normal curvature may be altered causing astigmatism and nearsightedness

As the cornea is altered, vision may be blurry and accompanied by:
Moderate to severe pain. The pain will be worse on awakening in the morning.
Increase sensitivity to light
Excessive tearing
A feeling that something is in your eye."

She said the tear in my cornea wasn't an injury, it is the erosion of the cornea in that area. And the biggest problem I have is every night when I sleep, it sort of forms a "scab," which I rip off the moment I open my eyes. Which just sets the tone for the rest of the day.

She doesn't think I should move to the more advanced treatments of implantations in my eyes or restasis because they're more for tear production (which it doesn't seem I'm having too much of a problem with), and because I'm probably going to have to resort to that a few years down the line, so she doesn't want to start off with that therapy.

oh joy.

What is sexy?

2011-10-06T21:44:00.000-04:00

This is the carry over from a discussion that we are currently having on Google+. What makes a person sexy?

The first thing you must determine is whether you're talking to a man or a woman. Men invariably get hot and sexy intermingled. They look at a hot chick and go she's Hot. Or they look at a hot girl and say oh, she's sexy.

Women.... it's much more complicated.

For women, a man doesn't have to be HOT to be sexy. And just because someone's HOT doesn't mean he's necessarily sexy.

Examples:

Hugh Jackman. I think this man is one of the hottest men on the planet. The muscles.... yum. The face... swoon. But all of that wouldn't make him sexy. What DOES make him sexy? I love his grace when he sings and dances, I love his easy laugh, I love that smile, and I love that he's a devoted father. There is nothing sexier than a man who adores his children.

Sexy....
Men I find sexy and yummy aren't the classic studs. My examples...

Colin Firth. Oh that guy is just yummy on a stick. But not many people would look at him and say he's hot. He's intelligent, he's cute, a funny personality... THAT's sexy.

Hugh Laurie
Oh...I love him. He's cute, has a TERRIFIC sense of humor. Is self-depricating... I just adore Hugh Laurie.

Ryan Reynolds.
Be still my thumping heart. He's cute. Not gorgeous, but cute as in boy next door. he's got a killer body (see below), but his characters have heart. There's a soul. He's sexy.

If you ask men who is sexy, you can put a random woman's naked body up on the screen with no head...and he'll say that THAT is sexy.

New job woes

2011-09-20T08:42:00.001-04:00

When you start a new job, you want to make a good impression. You want to show them they didn't make a mistake in hiring you. That you're as good as you said you were.

You have all these ideas, things you think will be great, plans to standardize things, etc.

Then someone rams your face in the wall. " Can you show her how you do this because it's nicer." It's not really, but it's familiar so it's nicer for them.

So once again I'm having a crises of confidence. Will they fire me like they did the last EA? Do I suck?

* bangs head against desk *

Dear Clueless husbands...

2011-09-13T21:59:00.000-04:00

If your normally chatty wife hasn't said more than ten words to you tonight. She's pissed. If you ask what's going wrong and she says nothing, it's not.

Sometimes we're pissed and we don't want to give you an easy way out. We want you to think about possibly why we're pissed. Put some thought into it.

Why am I mad?

I come home last night after working a 12 hour day, you didn't take the garbage out, which means it'll pile up til next week. Tonight I get home 45 minutes late because I had to stop at CVS to pick up medication for our child. I get home, check to see if boys did homework, cook dinner, make copies of 3 years worth of tax returns for YOUR meeting this week, finish making dinner, WHILE putting away all the dishes in the dishwasher, while you sit on your ass and chat with your buddies on Google +.

How about you get off your ass and do something around here? Maybe that's why I'm pissed. And really, if you tore yourself away from Google for 5 minutes and replayed the last two days, you'd figure it out. Why should I make it easier on you to do the right thing?

Get out the big girl panties....

2011-09-01T21:07:00.002-04:00

I've been accused ALOT of not having sympathy for other people.

Someone's sick, I feel bad for them, but depending on the nature of the sickness, at some point, quit complaining, get back to living. Someone's tired, so what I'm tired too. Someone hates their job, I hate mine too.

I guess part of it is my upbringing. My father was famous for the phrase "Grab it and Growl." The summation is I know you're not happy about doing it, but it needs done anyway, just get it done already.

I guess my brain has taken this reasoning too far.

The joys of social media. My husband and I are both on Google +. He uses it alot, me not so much. But alot of his friends follow me.

Tonight I learn from Google that he's reading a book on improving his marriage and that one of his fears is telling me something and I'll pull away from him.

Gee thanks honey.

I don't like what it says about me. But on the other hand, after mulling it around in my head for the last hour or so I've come to some responses. None of these I could ever say to him, for then being labeled precisely the un-caring she-bitch I'm called.

You're not happy in the marriage? Welcome new member to the group! I haven't been for awhile, but I've been busy raising children, working long hours at a job that I hated and hated me back to make money to help support our family, I have a son with Aspergers who demands more energy than anyone could believe, and I've lost one of my best friends in my life. I don't have time to obsess and dwell and think about how much our marriage sucks. We're not at each other's throats, we get along pretty well, just keep going.
I haven't made the marriage what it's become on my own. You're not exactly a joy to live with.
And mainly.... I'm exhausted. Physically and mentally. I don't have time to worry about feelings. I don't have time to worry about what I don't have. My life will never be perfect. All I want is for it not to be miserable. I have too many demands on my time and energy to worry about feelings. If you have that time, fine, do it, but leave me alone.

Get out the big girl panties and put them on, don't slow me down, keep up, eyes on the ball.

Aspergers Label

2011-08-10T15:46:00.000-04:00

I was happy when we had a diagnosis, and I could research, learn ways to help Jamie, etc.

But I don't want everyone to see him through the Label.

It's a bit of a double-edged sword, because sometimes the label is helpful. When I need something for him and can't get it easily another way.

Potential Dangers with an Aspergers Label

Stress on familes with autism

2011-07-27T20:34:00.000-04:00

Very interesting article linked below.

Ever wonder about a day in the life of a parent of a child with autism? The sibling?

I feel these. Jamie takes his aggression out on Iain. Iain's felt the pull of being "kicked out" of daycare because Jamie has been. He tries so hard to make Jamie happy, he knows Jamie isn't happy. Sometimes I feel he's trying so hard....and a 6 year old baby shouldn't have to.

http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/stress-on-families.html

They said what??!! – The mommy-cising of Jenn

2011-07-22T19:55:00.000-04:00

I always thought I was “with it.” The fact I just said “with it,” shows how NOT “with it” I am, but I digress. I have always liked the popular music. I remember dancing to “The Thong Song” when we were at Ocean City on our honeymoon. I love Ke$ha and Lady Gaga.

Today while listening to AOL’s Party Hits station, I realized I’ve become mommy-cised.

Pitbull’s “Motel” came on. I love the chorus “Hotel…Motel…Holiday Inn…” But as I’m listening to the lyrics, my thoughts were “hey, wait a minute, this is a bit too graphic.” The lyrics disturbed me so much that I had to skip the song. When this song came out, I played it all the time (when the boys weren’t in the car).

Listening to today’s pop music on the radio, I find myself doing this a lot lately. It used to be that I didn’t play the music when the boys were in the car, but when they weren’t, I’d blast up the volume and sing along.

Has anyone else been mommy-cised when it comes to music?

One day... I'll find my barbecue prince

2011-07-10T11:38:00.000-04:00

In my quest to try to get serious about blogging during my jobless time, I'm going to start a series... the best barbecue sauce.

I love BBQ sauce...I swear, if you cut me, I'll bleed BBQ sauce. Everyone seems to have their own favorite.
I start back to the early days of Kraft BBQ. That was good stuff.... then the selection came.

I moved onto KC Masterpiece, honey mustard. That is basically Kraft's 2.0 version. That was far better... it was thick where Kraft was watery. Yum.

My mom introduced me to Bullseye, coincidentally also a Kraft Brand. Not only was it thick, but it was tangy too. I was a Bullseye fan for a long time.

The new fad among friends and family is Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce. It's okay... much better than the Kraft varieties, but not all that and a bag of chips.

My current favorite, though, is Jack Daniels BBQ Sauce. It has a tang to it, yummy. It's my go to sauce right now.

But, I have two more BBQ sauces in my hopper. Dave's BBQ and Budweiser.

As I finally get to try them, I'll post on those results.

Ever feel like you're stuck in neutral?

2011-07-08T12:11:00.001-04:00

For two months now I have been struggling with problems at work and trying to live my life and raise my boys.

Now I'm waiting for a lawyer to call my company so that we can make plans on my departure and it's taking forever and I'm stuck in neutral.

I can't do anything until there's a decision made and no decision is being made and driving me nuts.

Validation

2011-05-26T19:23:00.001-04:00

We went to see a different doctor today to talk about Jamie. There's no doubt in her mind that Jamie has Aspergers.

She says there's thinking in the world of psychology that says a kid can't be autistic AND ADHD, but it's phooey, and she believes he has the hyperactivity/ADHD as well. She thinks we should keep going with his patch, since it is clinically known to help kids like Jamie, and since the Autism teacher has noticed some changes in Jamie since he started with the patch.

She agrees with his current doctor about his diagnosis and how he's been treating Jamie, and says we should keep going with him. She has offered to be our advocate with the school system if we need her. She thinks it would be good if we find a Behavioral Psychologist closer to here, because we may have battles with the school and will need help advocating for him.

She doesn't think doing a full battery of tests right now would be a good idea, because he doesn't have the attention span, and we'd spend alot of money for tests that are "their best guess." She thinks in a year or two, we need to do it, to get the IQ testing and learn the full cognitive delays he may have.

She thinks that

1. He needs to see a professional pediatric occupational therapist for an assessment and for Sensory Integration. The only thing the school is judging him on is if he can hold a pencil, and there are so many more facets to it than that. She thinks if we take him for Sensory Integration 1 on 1 work, it could help with his extreme sensitivities to sound, touch, etc, and make his life easier.

2. She also thinks he needs a professional pediatric speech assessment. That once again, the school is just skimming the surface. Yes, he understands the ins and outs of conversation, but he doesn't understand the subleties, the deeper meanings in conversations.

The aggression isn't aggression in general. It's aggression based on a perceived wrong. Someone isn't following the rules (the school rules or his own self-thought rules), someone slighted him (his own feeling or reality), and this is his way of acting out. If he can get away, he can, but if he can't or it overwhelms him too quickly, the fight or flight kicks in and he fights. As he gets older, this will calm down some, but again she thinks having an aide to be there to quickly try to redirect him would help.

The big problem we're dealing with with the school is that if he had a diagnosis of Autism, an IQ of 70 and was barely communicative, they'd treat him differently. Because he is so darn smart and talkative, and carries on adult conversations, they forget about the Autism part, they expect more out of him than they would other Autistic children.

She thinks he is an amazingly smart child and probably does have a high IQ, but right now she wouldn't be able to test it. She did say if they did the testing, he'd rank very low in cognitive skills.

I think the day went well. She validated his current doctor's diagnosis, and gave us more complete info, some things she thinks we should try to make Jamie's life easier, and some things we need to get in his IEP. And if we need her, she will come help us fight the school for an individual aide for him. She's also going to try to ask around to see if she can find a Sensory Integration specialist around a closer area that we could try for him, as she thinks that's the biggest thing he needs help with .

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world

2011-05-24T22:18:00.001-04:00

People always say this.

Before I had the boys, I thought it was a load of bullshit.

But it's true. Being a mother means that you hold a life in your hands.

For 9 months, you cradle that life inside you. You eat properly, take care of yourself like you've never bothered to take care of yourself before, because you know you're carrying a little life inside you.

When your child is born, you spend hours staring at their face, making sure they're breathing, making sure they eat, that they're growing, they're hitting their milestones, that they're happy.

You spend your time imaging what life lies ahead for them. How they'll be when they learn to walk, what their first words will be, their first day of kindergarten, graduating high school, graduating college, getting married, having their own child...

But through all that, you take care of them. They fall down and scrape their knee, you want to take the pain away while you hold a crying child in your arms. They have problems making friends, your heart breaks, wishing you could make it better for them.

Now add to that a child with autism. A child who doesn't say he loves you. Who doesn't want you to "kiss his skin" at night. A child who struggles to get through the day. A child who wants to make friends and can't understand why other kids don't want to play with him. A child who is anxious, who is overwhelmed by lights and sounds, emotions, who teeters on the edge of control.

Is your life difficult yet?

Add to that the fact you have to work.

Dreading every time your cell phone rings that he's "gone off" and is in trouble. That he's about to be kicked out of preschool, out of daycare, suspended from school. That he's only six.

Now add on top of that that the place you work knows your son is autistic. The sole purpose of the organization is to work with adults with special needs (including autism), who knows the behavioral challenges, who strive to make the people they serve live as normal a life as possible. And they can't understand that you need to take off for doctor appts for your son. That he's on medications no child should be on, and has to be monitored, that he may go off, and I may need to rush home to take care of him. Who has now told me that I need to decide between my autistic child, and my job. That if I take off any more time (of which I still have alot), I will be told I have 90 days to find a new job. Oh, and you know that family vacation you've had planned since January, that we approved yoru time off for....you might want to rethink doing that. Who cares nothing of the hours of overtime I put in for Board Meetings, it's just expected of me. But begrudges me a few hours a couple times a month to care for my son. Who now wants me to put off getting a severely infected tooth fixed for god knows how long because don't all dentists stay open 24 hours to accommodate jerkish bosses?

I get my work done, I don't have piles of work left sitting around that I don't do. I bust my ass to get it all done. To take care of my job, my responsibilities, AND MY SON!

How can you tell a mother, any mother, and especially a mother of an autistic child that their child doesn't matter. That they can't use time they have accrued, time given by the company to the employee, to attend medical appointments, to attend IEP meetings at the school, to take care of him.

I am trying my best. I am working myself into a mental and physical deficit trying to keep up with everything, make everyone happy.

I can't take it anymore. My child is more important than your job. I'm about to the point of filing for bankruptcy so I can work part-time and care for my son. Through all the shit work is putting me through right now.... I'm still sitting here worrying about my son and how his day will go tomorrow. If he'll have problems, and how THAT's more important than my job.

Facing my fears

2011-04-02T21:25:00.002-04:00

Ever since we got Jamie's diagnosis, I've done everything I could to make his life normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. We've learned what works and doesn't work with him. We know his trigger points, we try to make his life easier.

School is so hard for him. School really brought out the Aspergers. We try to give him a soft place to fall when he comes home.

We had an IEP meeting at the school yesterday. I was concerned with what would happen with Jamie next year. I wanted them to identify a teacher for him now, one who could handle Jamie, let them see Jamie in the classroom setting...see what works and doesn't.

What I got... was what I never wanted to hear. He's not ready for first grade. He isn't emotionally able to handle kindergarten. He doesn't have the social skills or the ability to function in a much more rigid setting like first grade. They want him to spend a majority of his time in the special ed class, and go to first grade for certain areas, like special classes and math.

They tried to say that it would be easier for Jamie, he'd have more one to one interaction (because there are only 6 kids in the class), they could teach him to his level in reading, keep him calm, let him go to some classes with the other kids his age, but limit the stressors of being there all day.

While this sounds like the best thing for Jamie. I'm devastated. I didn't want Jamie in the "special" class. He's so smart, I don't want him to flounder. And I know that part of it is what they did to "special" kids when I was growing up.... they stuck them in a room, taught to the lowest level, let them flounder, they were ostracized by the "normal" kids. Hell, last year in pre-K, when they put Iain in with the special kids because he needed OT and speech therapy, he was in there with kids who ate like dogs and wore diapers. He floundered...he didn't do anything... I don't want that to happen with Jamie. He's too smart.

I'm sure I offended the teachers with my questions. But I don't care. I DO want what's best for him. And I guess right now it's my fear of the perception, fear of the unknown, fear of how he will be educated... I'm scared for him.

And I guess it's also that I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't think our lives are going to be normal with just small deviations. That there really is problems with Jamie. problems I can't fix. Problems that will only continue. That he'll never be "normal."

I don't want this!! I want Jamie to be "normal." I don't want him to have to go through life being different. I don't want him to have Aspergers. I'm not strong enough for this.

Remington Wet to Straight

2011-03-28T14:18:00.003-04:00

A few years ago, I changed my hairstyle from curly/frizzy/long to shorter and straight. I have naturally wavy, fine hair. It has been a pain in the neck, quite frankly.

I'm a busy mom. I get up, have to get ready, teeth brushed, get the boys' lunches packed, snacks packed, medicine administered, glasses on faces, shoes on, jackets on, boys out the door. Things like makeup and time to style my hair have disappeared.

For the last two years, I've hated to wash my hair in the mornings. I don't have time to blow-dry it out, much less time to straighten it. I usually wash it, let it air dry, then try to fix the mess the next morning with the straightener.

When I saw Remington's new Wet To Straight, I was immediately interested. After entering a contest and not winning, I decided to take the plunge and purchase it.

I was a bit leery. Because I have fine hair that is permanently damaged, and isn't this just like frying my hair more?

I tried it out this morning. The results:

It definitely did what it said! The old straighteners would make your hair hot, but not dry. This left my hair DRY! I can't see any damage done to my hair.

But, you can definitely tell my hair was not blown out, then straightened. It's a bit like straw.

I'm not completely convinced, I'm going to play around with different pre-conditioner mists to see if I can keep it from being heat damaged....but I do love that I was able to leave the house with dry hair and it only took me about 10 minutes to do it!!!

Regrets

2011-03-26T21:07:00.002-04:00

Life is full of regrets. There's always something you wish you'd have done differently.

Some people say it's the whole "the dance" theory... might have missed the pain, but would have missed the dance. Some say our past makes us what we are today.

Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I hadn't broken my leg. If I hadn't met my husband, if my life had kept going the way it had been. I think maybe mom would still be alive. But maybe she'd have been miserable, and I wouldn't have been able to help her the small amount I did. Wouldn't have been able to take care of her at the end when it mattered most.

Would I have wanted things to turn out differently? No.

My boys are my life. I can't imagine what my life would be like without them. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't have had them, if I were to lose them.

But there are things I regret. Stupid decisions I made as a teenager, stupid things I said or did. Friendships it affected. Friendships that really meant alot to me.

I saw an old friend today. I did something stupid when I was 15, I lost my best friend. Seeing her today just reminded me of how much I've missed my friend.

Happy Birthday my babies

2011-02-22T21:12:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow my babies turn six.

Six years ago tonight, I was laying in bed, freaking out. Thinking I wasn't ready to be a mommy. How the heck was I going to take care of one baby, much less two. Am I going to suck as a mommy.

Six years later, Jamie's lost two teeth, they're in kindergarten, both incredibly smart, incredibly cute, incredibly mine.

It hasn't been easy. In fact, this year has been a rough year in parenting...finding out about Jamie having Aspergers, trying to get things settled at school for him, trying to keep up with the moving target. Trying to get Iain to stop day dreaming and do his work, seeing just how stubborn that blonde boy can be.

When I'm having a bad day, worrying about the boys, brooding about not feeling good, brooding about my mom, there's always the thought of ways my life could have been different.

But one thing that never changes... my babies. I couldn't imagine one day without them in my life. When they overwhelm me, they surprise me.

Last night I was in pain because of my root canal, and Jamie came over twice to rub my arm and say "Don't worry mommy, we'll get your mouth to stop hurting." Today Iain told me "I love you mommy."

I never knew the love that could exist between a parent and a child. These boys are my life. I'd die for them. I want to do everything I can to help them succeed, to know that they're loved and supported.

Happy Birthday my babies. Mommy loves you.

Peace

2010-10-22T21:22:00.002-04:00

Since my mom has died, I've had alot of dreams about her...or make that nightmares.

I've dreamt she's back like nothing happened, Ron is still with her, she can't understand why I'm angry. I've had nightmares since she died.

I told my husband recently that since we had mom's gravestone installed and we did our goodbye to her, I've felt better. I haven't had nightmares about mom. It was like the last bit of guilt I had went away.

Last night I had an amazing dream. I woke up, finally feeling at peace.

In my dream, I was standing in a field watching Iain play. Mom was there. Her body wasn't there, and we weren't talking to each other, but it felt like she was standing next to me. It felt peaceful, it felt safe, it felt like home.

In my dream Iain ran off and I stood there for a second watching him go off, trying to decide if I should follow him, or if I should stay with mom. Then I heard her voice clearly telling me to "Go with Iain, I'll always be here."

I'm tearing up as I write this. It felt so full of love...so full of peace. Like my mind has finally processed everything, and I'm ready to let her back in...without feeling guilty.

I sound so hokey saying repeatedly that I feel at peace, because I've never been at peace. It's just no other way to describe it.

Thank you mom.

The day the world stopped turning

2010-07-13T08:51:00.001-04:00

About this time 1 year ago, the world stopped.

I woke up, getting ready for my new job, happy, waiting for mom to come take care of the boys.

6:15, no mom. She must have overslept. I start the calling between house phone and cell phone. At 6:30, I received the call.... he couldn't wake her up, she was cold.

I got my step-mother to come watch the boys, all the time praying the paramedics would be able to revive her. Hoping that by the time I got there, she'd be arguing with them that she didn't want to go to the hospital.

I got there, the ambulance was still there, no one in it. I walk in the backyard to see Ron crying telling me he was sorry.

I ran up the stairs into mom's room, and the world stopped. There she was on the floor, a breathing tube in her mouth, gone.

All sorts of things pop into your head...this isn't right... has to be a mistake... maybe she's alive, they just haven't propped her up yet...how am I supposed to react...what am I going to do...this can't be real...no, not my mom.

But it was real, she was gone. I spent the next few days in a daze, trying to work out funeral arrangements, arrange for daycare for the boys, trying to work, trying to come to terms with the horror my life had become.

The hardest thing I've ever done is saying goodbye to my mom in the funeral home...seeing her one last time. knowing this was my last chance to touch her, to run my fingers through her hair, to smell her, to be with her. Knowing she was going to be cremated in a day or two, that I'll never be able to see her face again. I wanted to stay in that room with her forever, I wanted to curl up on the table and cuddle her, tell her I loved her, that I always loved her, that her boys loved her, that she was mine and what right did God have to take her away.

I finally had to walk out of the room, because staying there was just too painful.

In the last year I've gone through unbearable pain. The pain of losing mom, of fighting with her husband, having him steal everything that was hers, have the house taken away, the memories gone, having our first Thanksgiving without her, my first birthday without her calling to wish me a happy birthday, the first Christmas, the boys' birthday without grandma to spoil them rotten, the first Mother's day, having to explain what happened to Jamie, buying her gravestone, and today, thinking back on that awful day.

It will get better. I don't believe it, but I have to cling to that hope, because if I don't, I'll never get through the rest of my life.

I love you mom. More than you knew, more than even I knew. I love you and the boys love you, and your being gone has left a huge void in our lives.

And today, I must force the world to start turning again.

You are what you complain about

2010-01-07T19:18:00.000-05:00

There's a battle going on in Twitter-land, that makes me almost want to unfollow most of my follow list.

The participants are all women in their 30s and 40s with children of their own, and they're acting like teenagers bullying each other in the hallway.

I do not pretend to know everything that is going on, because I use the internet for FUN, not another drama to add to my life, but here are my thoughts (like you asked, huh? LOL)

1. If she had a house with a pool, why wasn't there a fence around the pool? If there wasn't a fence, why would she let him wander off while taking pictures of farm animals?
2. If she wanted privacy, why was she on twitter moments later, tweeting and then getting people to pay for her child's funeral expenses? When you start asking people to pay for things for you, you open yourself up to criticism. It sounds mean, but it's true.
3. As for the "mob", you're mad because someone posted something you didn't agree with. You say she was picking on your "friend." I can understand that, but aren't you all just doing the same thing? Ganging up on someone and picking on them? And I've read some of the posts. You are laughing about making death threats against her. Really mature. Your mad because she is profiting off a child's death. Well, sorry to say, the mother profited too, she got people to pay for a funeral for her.

I once read something, that everyday I am more and more convinced is true... You only let things bother you that deep down you believe at some level to be true.

Buzzed Driving....NOT fun for the holidays!

2009-12-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

It's holiday party season - time to celebrate all of the exciting winter holidays with our friends and loved ones. Our mailboxes are flooded with invitations to parties and dinners and other holiday get-togethers. With these parties come food, fellowship, gifts, and in many cases, festive alcoholic drinks.

In 2008, nearly 12,000 people in the U.S. were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes - and during the periods around Christmas and New Year's, this number was particularly high, with 316 people killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes. In 2007, 162,493 women were arrested for a DUI, an increase of almost 29% since 1998. You can't help but wonder if lives could have been saved if people thought twice before getting behind the wheel. With the holidays approaching, it's important that drivers be reminded about the dangers of buzzed driving. Who knows...it could save a life.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHSTA) and the Ad Council are asking everyone to drive smart this holiday season and to pledge not to drive buzzed. Help spread this message during the holiday season by posting about the dangers of buzzed driving, sharing a story or experience you might have had with buzzed driving and encouraging readers to follow Buzzed Driving on Twitter (@buzzeddriving) and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/buzzeddrivingisdrunkdriving) to get the latest updates and news. You can also visit the Buzzed Driving website (http://buzzeddriving.adcouncil.org/) where readers can sign a pledge to not drive buzzed, play an interactive game which demonstrates the difference between buzzed and drunk, and hear personal stories from people who have driven buzzed.

While at holiday events, it's easy to lose track of a drink here or there - but this can be fatal. This holiday season, keep you and your family safe by spreading this message.

Have a safe and happy holiday and remember that buzzed driving IS drunk driving.

How you can help on Facebook:

Become a fan of the Buzzed Driving campaign on Facebook and ask your followers to do the same http://www.facebook.com/buzzeddrivingisdrunkdriving

How you can help on Twitter:

Follow @buzzeddriving, share information with your readers/followers about this Tuesday?s information discussion on Twitter ? http://resourcefulmommy.blogspot.com/2009/12/buzzed-driving-is-drunk-driving-twitter.html

Take the pledge to not drive buzzed here and ask your readers to do the same: http://buzzeddriving.adcouncil.org

Charla Nash before-after attack pictures: Lady attacked by chimp on Oprah

2009-11-22T21:21:00.001-05:00

via ionlinephilippines.com

Heard about this, hadn't seen the pics. Oh my gosh! -

Posted via web from jamiain's posterous

Is there a doctor in the house?

2009-10-06T21:42:00.001-04:00

Dang different doc @ Urgent Care didn't give a RX for cough medicine. Is there a doc in the house willing to call me in one for hydrocodone tussin??

Sent from my iPod

Posted via email from jamiain's posterous

My weekend Rant

2009-08-30T13:58:00.002-04:00

Husband has been sick since last Friday. First it was, I'm coming down with something. Then it was I have something and can't talk, now it's I still have it...and oh, I have pink eye now too.

I'm getting tired of it.

This weekend... I've done gone grocery shopping, 5 loads of laundry, baked a pie, baked 2 doz cookies, mopped the floors, vacuumed, and will be making a fancy dinner tonight.

What has he done? laid around the couch, grumped at everyone, picked fights with the boys every 5 minutes.

Now, I"m coming down with his damn cold.

I'm tired, sore, have a headache, and so tired of him, that his voice feels like nails on a chalkboard. *sigh*

It's the Weekend already??

2009-08-08T18:10:00.000-04:00

I didn't think there'd ever come a time in my life when I was a bit disappointed when the weekend came.

But now there is.

It's so easy during the week. Wake up, get dressed, get boys up, get them dressed, drop them off at daycare, rush to work, work, rush home, make dinner, baths, put the boys to bed, put myself to bed. Repeat.

During the week, I function....I do my job, I joke around, I do simple life things...

When Friday afternoon hits, it's like a part of me shuts down. I can feel myself retreating. I find no joy in the simple things, I'm depressed the whole time I'm doing my weekly shopping, seeing old people brings me to tears. I stare off into space. I can feel my mind not working. I sit and hope Monday comes soon.

I'm a nervous wreck when people aren't where I think they should be. I call my husband....I even worried about the day care providers one day when they weren't there in time.

It'll be 4 weeks Monday that my world changed forever. It's so hard to believe it's only been 4 weeks since my life became one big suckfest, and at the same time, think it's only been 4 weeks but feels so much longer.

I miss my mom. I miss her so much I ache. I miss her not coming through my front door every morning at 6AM. I miss her not calling me to remind me I forgot to take dinner out. I miss her calling me to tell me Jamie peed on the potty. I miss going to her house and being enveloped by her. I miss her.

While doing simple things like shopping...your brain wanders. Today it wandered to... Did she know I loved her? I told her, yes, but did she believe I did, or did she think I was just saying it. Did she think I took advantage of her. Did she know I loved her so very much? Did she know that I would give anything to have her back?

Every day sucks. I feel like a part of me was buried with her 4 weeks ago. I feel lost and alone. I feel so pissed off at my step-father for letting this happen, I'm pissed off at myself for not seeing it, I'm pissed off at her for not telling anyone, and I'm pissed off at God who took her away from me.

She's in a better place. Bullshit. God needed her more than me. Bullshit.

Join 5 minutes for Mom's birthday party!!

2009-07-30T10:51:00.000-04:00

Party will be TONIGHT, Thursday, July 30th at 8PM EDT. To attend... watch below!

Help fight Childhood Obesity!

2009-07-09T11:50:00.000-04:00

With childhood obesity reaching an all time high across the country, many parents struggle with how to help their children maintain a healthy weight with proper nutrition.

Dr. Joanna Dolgoff, the official doctor of Camp Shane and a board certified pediatrician, has created Dr. Dolgoff's Weigh, a traffic-light system that allows kids to learn which foods are healthiest without counting calories. To spread the word about her site and program, Dr. Weigh, is sponsoring a Wii Fit contest to help you get your family up and moving this summer!

To Enter:
To enter to win the #KidsWeigh Wii Fit contest, check out client testimonials and fabulous Dr. Weigh success stories then fill out this secure contest form telling us which story was your favorite!

Form: http://tinyurl.com/kidsweighcontest

Want a chance to speak with Dr. Dolgoff about your nutritional questions and win more prizes?

Join her Friday, July 10th at 9 p.m. ET on Twitter for her #KidsWeigh discussion. Door prizes will be awarded. To RSVP and for more information go to:
Resourceful Mommy.

One grand prize winner will receive a Wii Fit. Two runners-up will receive a free one month membership to Dr. Weigh. This contest ends Friday, July 24th at 11:59 a.m. ET. and is brought to you by Momfluence.

CookiesKids.com Laptop Giveaway Sweepstakes

2009-07-08T12:37:00.000-04:00

Is your current computer stalling and giving you blue screen nightmares? Would you love to be able to have one that the kids could use (alas, staying off of yours)?

CookiesKids.com feels your pain and has come to your rescue!

Sign up to recieve the Cookies Kids Newsletter via e-mail and you're automatically entered to win one of 4 brand new laptops!!

Simply fill out the form below to be entered into our Laptop Giveaway Sweepstakes. Please be sure to read the Giveaway Sweepstakes "Terms and Conditions" before entering your information.

Contest ends 9/30/09 at 11:59 AM ET. This contest brought to you courtesy of the Momfluence network.

Link to giveaway: http://cli.gs/6dGhsh

summerbyGViciano

2009-07-03T11:41:00.000-04:00

: photo by G Viciano

Looking for some great products to make your summer that much more fun and enjoyable? Looking to pamper yourself while the kids are off at camp? Or maybe you're dealing with summer bumps and bruises. Momfluence has collected some reviews of great products that you need to know about! Check out what our reviewers had to say about these great summer finds. And don't forget to stop by the Momfluence member giveaways listed at the bottom for some summer winning!

Featured Products

FishBites Swimmies - Spending time in the water is one of the most fun and exciting parts of summer. FishBites Swimmies by Swimways is a great solution to give the little ones the extra security they need in the pool, in a fun and exciting way.

Delsey Helium Fusion Carryon - If you are hitting the road or flying the skies this summer for your family vacation, the Delsey Helium Fusion carry-on offers a lightweight solution for packing your travel essentials.

Do Something Daily Calendar - Tired of hearing the kids say they have nothing to do? The DoSomethingDaily Calendar offers fun and exciting suggestions for things to do on each and every day of the year. Make memories with your family, every day!

Perlabe lla Pearls - Want to combat some of the wrinkles cause by sun damage? Perlabella's Retinol solution helps to fight the signs of aging, that can be caused by excessive sun exposure and other factors.

More Summer Fun

iTurtle

Playdoh Spaghetti Factory

Submergency

Nerf NFL Progrip Football

SuperSoaker 50

Boochie Game

Good For The Kids

Talking To Toddlers

Two Belles and A Bead Engraved Necklace

Cardstore

Jumeau Handbags

Staphaseptic

Member Reviews/Giveaways

Bonggamom - $50 Tiny Prints Gift Certificate

IceFairy's Treasure Chest - KiNeSYS, Purex 3-in1, and more

Eccentric, Eclectic Woman - Bra Barrette, Skipping Hippos

Riding With No Hands - 20 Piece Rubbermaid Set

Consumer Queen - FurBuster

PlusSizeMommy - Giant Hershey Bar, Zensoy, and more

MommyNotGuilty - KidBanz Sunglasses

Robyn's Online World - Kodak Digital Frame

Simply Being Mommy - EA Sports Active

Lattes and Life - Oscar Meyer Hot Dogs & Parent's Choice Formula

Motherhood Moment - Summer Fun

A Simple Kinda Life - Summer Soiree of Giveaways

From Cribs to Car Keys - EcoStore $25 Gift Certificate and more

Miscellaneous Finds 4 U - Tiny Prints and more

All Momfluence guide reviews are product-provided, featured positions were purchased by vendors. Member reviews and giveaways are not associated with Momfluence.

iDrive Portable Hard Drive

2009-04-11T15:43:00.000-04:00

I recently was lucky enough to win an iDrive Portable Hard Drive from http://www.idrive.com/. The cool prize I won? I free 320GB Portable Hard Drive.

When I opened the packaging for the iDrive Portable I was surprised by its small size. I’ve seen Smart Phones that are bigger than this hard drive. It’s easily small enough to slip into your jacket pocket.

The drive is recognized moments after I plugged in the USB cable (no other cables are required). A couple of clicks and the iDrive backup software was installed to my machine. It can be installed on multiple machines making it perfect for home backup or for moving between locations.
You couldn’t make this much easier to use. There’s help included but its all very straightforward. I selected my My Documents folders and within 30 minutes all 29GB of data was backed up onto the iDrive. We then plugged it into my husband's laptop, and did the same with his hard drive.

Then we opened up the drive, and it was neatly broken into separate folders for both my and my husband's computers. Making it easy to backup a couple different computers or laptops, and keep them completely separate.

The iDrive is an amazingly easy to use piece of hardware. It doesn't require a PhD to operate, and makes backing up almost painless...which is why most of us don't do it. And coming from someone who's computer recently died and almost lost EVERYTHING, this thing is great for peace of mind.

You can set it up to do automatic backups, and if it's scheduled to run and not attached to your computer at the time, the next time you plug it in, it'll run the backup for you.

The iDrive Portable sells for $69.95, which is a great deal. It's no more expensive than larger external drives, but offers the flexibility of being able to carry it around in your pocket all day because of it's small size.

Fast, small and easy to use. What more could you want from a portable hard drive?

Homestudio Pendants

2009-03-07T15:24:00.000-05:00

I just recently came across a new (to me) site at Etsy called Home Studio. I found them through a giveaway someone was doing, and found a pendant I HAD to have.

The pendants are designs placed on scrabble pieces. I was a bit leery, as I couldn't believe the designs placed on scrabble tiles could look as good as they do on the website, but I was pleasantly surprised when it did.

The pendant came in a pretty silver bag, and a note with product care instructions, and on the back a little note thanking me for the purchase, with my name on the note. It's little things like that, that impress me. It shows that the products are made by a human, not an assembly line.

I got the "love my twins," pendant, but there are many different designs, from flowers, animals, symbols, etc. Everytime I go to their site I find 10 more that are on my wish list.

They recommend that you remove the pendants when you are bathing, swimming, or in water for a good period of time, as they are not waterproof. And in case you're wondering, there's no sharp edges where the design meets the scrabble tile. It's perfectly smooth, and really looks like it was always attached to the piece.

If you like pretty designs that are afforable, and colorful, and really quite simply beautiful, you should check out the designs at Home Studio.

4BabyandMom giveaway - Abba Dabba Bags

2009-03-07T15:04:00.000-05:00

I just recently won a giveaway from Lauren at 4BabyandMom, in which I won a gorgeous wristlet from Abba Dabba Bags.

I have to say how impressed I was at the entire experience! Lauren was very nice, and Monica sent a GORGEOUS item!

What I loved about it when I first looked at it, was it was so colorful! Mine has beautiful pinks and browns and yellows. It's not one of those drab items that you hide, you want to show it off!

It's also alot bigger than you would think. I originally thought it would be barely big enough to put some cash and a driver's license in, but you can put so much more in. You can easily put those items in, but also throw in lip gloss, your keys, and even more than that.

The inside is a gorgeous brown, and you'll also be surprised by the weight of it. I have to admit I was a bit concerned thinking that every day use would cause tears, but it is very heavy. I can wear it on my wrist and not worry if it bangs against something.

If you love wristlets (as I'm beginning to), or like something of good quality, that looks DIFFERENT, you will love these bags!

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5584991&section_id=5520084

My Review of Back Interest Wool coat

2009-01-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

Originally submitted at Roamans

Big button front coat with stand collar, empire waist and princess seams in front and back. Side seam pockets. Abt 44'.

Wool/viscose with full polyester.
Dry Clean.
Imported.
Sizes: 14W-34W

Nice, quality = price

By Jennifer from Charles Town, WV on 1/14/2009

Sizing: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Sleeve Length: Feels too short

Pros: Flattering, Warm, Blocks Wind, Comfortable

Cons: Cheap Buttons, Low Quality

Best Uses: Going Out, Wear To Work

Describe Yourself: Classic Dresser

The coat was not as heavy as I would have expected/liked. It's still a very nice jacket, the perfect length, and people love the back of it.

Biggest thing I dislike is the buttons should have been black so that they blended into the coat. These are huge, brown-gray buttons that stick out prominently.

(legalese)

Is Happiness Contagious?

2008-12-05T10:15:00.000-05:00

I just saw an article on cnn.com this morning. http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/12/05/happiness.social.network/index.html

It states that in a University of California - San Diego study, that happiness spreads more than unhappiness in a social network.

I agree with this, to a point.

I find unhappiness spreads very quickly itself. It's the whole domino effect. Your kids are mad, they take it out on you, you get annoyed and take it out on the clerk at the grocery store, she gets mad and starts taking it out on the customers who come after you, and so on and so on.

With that however, you need a personal connection to make it spread.

With happiness.... you don't really need as much of one. How many times has someone's bad mood online affected me? Not very often, I just mute them. But how many times have I seen someone online clearly enjoying themselves more than they should, and it wound up making me a goofball?

Black Friday = insane people

2008-12-01T10:34:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm one of the idiots that go out on Black Friday. It's a tradition. Even if the sales aren't so great (like this year), I still go out.

I remember the days when I was in the thick of the frenzies... Remember the Furby? I remember that day we did 4 stores in about 45 minutes and FINALLY had success! I also spent a cold, rainy morning in line at Best Buy to get my husband a laptop computer. Or the year all of us huddled around a puny little table at Wal-mart to get the RCA mp3 player (that was a hunk of junk).

But what is up with the crowds? If you ever wondered about the "mob mentality" attitude that psychiatrists say exists, go to Walmart on Black Friday. Would there EVER be a time when one or two people would knock down a man and trample him? No. But somehow when a group of people get together, people don't think twice about it.

Hey, I realize you were out in the cold all night to get a good deal on a TV. Ummm..... who made you do it? Do you also realize that you probably could have gotten that TV from the warmth of your home by going online? What makes your want of a TV more important than a man's life?

And the Sexiest Man of 2008 is.......

2008-11-19T15:05:00.000-05:00

My husband in Bizarro-land......Hugh Jackman!

Yes, People finally picked a real hunk!

Blatant Self-Promotion

2008-11-18T13:19:00.000-05:00

Because I'm a busy mommy with NO time to exercise, I'm trying to win a Wii, in hopes I can get Wii Fit and lose some weight.

Can you please vote for me in the contest? Please feel free to give this link to everyone under the sun who might like to help a momma out by clicking a link.

Thank you!

Jiffy Lube

2008-11-18T11:21:00.000-05:00

This is a post long-coming, but most deservedly due.

I used to go to Jiffy Lube religiously, on both of our cars. Then we bought cars from a dealership that provided free oil changes, and my trips to Jiffy Lube were relegated to occaisional trips when the dealership was going to charge WAY too much for other services.

I don't think I've personally been to a Jiffy Lube in about 3 years.

About 2 weeks ago, I had to take my car in to get something done with the differentials.

Oh my goodness!

I think they must have re-vamped their customer service process.

I pulled up, they asked me what I needed done, they opened my door for me, walked me to the lounge, and called me M'aam. At the end, they called me by name up to pay, opened the door to the shop, followed me to my car, opened my car door for me, shut it, and said thank you Ms. Mill-Irving.

I was shocked! It was just such outstanding customer service, I'm bowled over. I've never been treated so well.

If they keep this up, Jiffy Lube has an adamant fan for life in me!

How did I end up here?

2008-11-18T11:09:00.000-05:00

Ever get to a point that you're not sure how you got there?

I love my boys, I really do.

And now here comes the "but" that Dr. Phil says negates what was just previously said....

Sometimes I wish for some peace and quiet. There's only so many tantrums, fights, times being hit, yelled at, punched, kicked, etc., before you say...I wish I was left alone.

There's a commercial, I think IKEA, that the mother says someone needs a time out, and then she retreats to her quiet, pretty bedroom.

I feel like that lately.

I try so hard to do my best at work, and get kicked in the gut figuratively, only to come home and try to be a good mom, and get kicked in the gut literally.

What do YOU do when you need to chill out?

DC Traffic

2008-10-22T20:29:00.000-04:00

Gotta love DC area traffic. My husband wound up taking 2.5 hours to drive 35 miles home tonight. Why? Barack Obama was doing a rally in Leesburg.

And the most stellar part.... they blocked traffic on Rte. 7, which backed up the Greenway. So after my husband was sitting in traffic, police come by, forcing standstill traffic to move to the shoulders so Barack and the caravan can get by.

Well, VA State Police, maybe you shouldn't have turned the road into a parking lot, and maybe you could have gotten by easier.

The Wiggles

2007-01-23T10:40:00.000-05:00

The Wiggles made their debut with the newest wiggle, Sam Moran, on The View last week.

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EEwtv-pGFw

Frustrated with your Job Search?

2007-01-08T21:17:00.000-05:00

Ever try over and over again for a job and you lose one job after another?

You could try the tactic this guy did....Suspect Arrested for Stabbing Man While Applying for Job

Blame your weight gain on Holiday Stress

2006-12-17T20:57:00.000-05:00

There was a national stress survey done in October by the American Psychological Association that found that people turning to food to help them feel better increases to 1 in 3 during the during the holidays. 41% of women and 25% of men admit to increased eating during the holidays.

Is it really stress related? Sure, there is stress. Trying to get your kids the "it" present that year, trying to get your husband something that he won't know what it is already, trying to buy for the gazillion and one nieces and nephews...not to mention arguing over which family you're going to spend Xmas with. Oh yes, there is tons of stress during the holidays.

But as for that being the reason people overeat during the holidays? Ummm....I'm not buying it.

Why do people overeat during the holidays? Well jeeze...from mid November until January 2, everywhere you go, there's food.

You have Thanksgiving, which is basically a day to see how much food you can cram in your mouth before you pass out watching football. Then almost every weekend in between Thanksgiving and Christmas you have holiday parties. Parties at work, parties with friends, school parties, etc. Then if you work in most offices, vendors send you presents and most of it is candy or cookies, tack on another 5 pounds there.

Most families wind up going to a Christmas Eve party, then having Christmas Day at someone's house. Think about all the food and sweets that are consumed then. Then it's left-over time. And to finish it all off, you have New Year's Eve parties full of food and booze (yes, Booze packs on pounds too), and then the New Year's Day dinner.

Most people say they gain about 10 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. Are you really surprised?

Technorati Tags: stress, holidays, overeating, women

If only people would tell the truth

2006-12-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

I just got a call from the insurance company today. When my husband was in the first of his two recent accidents, the officer asked my husband for his email address and told him he'd email him the report that night. We never received it. I proceeded to email him 3 more times asking for this report, never to hear back from him. So finally I dropped it, figuring our insurance company would deal with it.

I get a phone call from our insurance company today saying they can't find record of the accident with either Leesburg City or VA State police. So I call up the police dept and after looking for 5 minutes, they find it and tell me despite the fact the cop said otherwise, they don't email reports and if I want the report, I have to pay them $6 for it.

So another call to StateFarm later, hopefully they'll deal with it.

Ugh... if they don't email reports, why ask my husband for his email address and say they'll send it to him????

Hugh Laurie Pt. 3

2006-11-28T10:41:00.000-05:00

The Swoonfest continues

Johnny B. Goode like you've never heard before.....

2006-11-28T10:37:00.000-05:00

Definitely a new version of Johnny B. Goode.

While I live Hugh, I'm so much more impressed with the dude playing the xylophone....I mean hey, he's got sheet music for that? *L*

Hugh Laurie

2006-11-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

I'm a Hugh Laurie Freak. So for the next few days, I'm going to post some clips of him I found on YouTube.

You Tube is great...

Behold the sexy, hilarious Hugh Laurie

Christmas Gifts

2006-11-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

I was listening to Casey Kasem's top 40 christmas edition this morning.

Every time they got ready to break for commercials, Casey would do a commercial for an item he recommended listeners buying for their family. What kind of gifts were they? Gifts you couldn't afford to buy unless you made a fortune!

My favorite was for the Bose stereo system. Talking about buying it for a family member, and hey....why not buy one for yourself as well.

Ummm..... I don't know any family member that gets $1000 gifts, do you? The simple fact that in order to buy their headphones, they have a monthly payment plan!!

Geeze!

Emmitt wins Dancing With The Stars 3

2006-11-17T09:02:00.000-05:00

Season 3 is all over, and the winner is..... Emmitt Smith.

I have to say, I'm quite happy Mario didn't win.

The premise of Dancing with the Stars was to take stars who had no dancing background, and teach them all the intracracies of ballroom dancing. Every season ABC sacrifices this premise to get ratings. Last year, they brought in Drew Lachey, who was in a boy band and was experienced in learning routines and pulling them off, and he won.

This year, they had two ringers, Mario Lopez and Joey Lawrence. True, Joey Lawrence only had dance training when he was small, but he still had it. He still carried with him the training he received when he was a child. And Mario. Mario was on Kids Incorporated. He learned dance routines every week, and had to master them. Both of them had dance training. Neither of them should have been allowed to compete. I'd even go so far as saying Willa Ford is a recording artist and has training when she does her videos, she probably shouldn't have been allowed in either.

So I'm very glad Emmitt, who had no training and worked his butt off, won this season's DWTS.

That all being said.... I wonder if they give Cheryl a bean bag next season if she could win again?

Sending the woman off to fight your battles

2006-11-16T20:26:00.000-05:00

After being out of the spotlight for almost 7 months, Tom Cruise is inflicting himself on the population again. But what was he careful to do before he started appearing everywhere? Send Katie Holmes and "his" daughter out to mend HIS fences.

You've seen the photos, Katie out having lunch with Brooke Shields (the site of his last great stand), having Katie making things look good.

Now they're finally getting married this weekend. I feel bad for Katie. I think she's in over her head, and there's no way to get out now.....not without losing her baby.

And as for Suri...that baby is all Katie. Suri looks just like her mother. Doesn't look at all like Tom...which just confirms my feelings that Suri wasn't conceived naturally. I swear there was a fertility clinic involved in the conception.

Target Recalls Various Toys Due to Lead and Laceration Hazards

2006-11-15T16:19:00.001-05:00

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs
Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 15, 2006
Release #07-035

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 440-0680
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Target Recalls Various Toys Due to Lead and Laceration Hazards

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in
cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary
recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using
recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Various "Kool Toyz" Children's Products

Units: About 190,500

Importer/Distributor: Target Stores, of Minneapolis, Minn.

Manufacturer: Toy Century Industrial Ltd., of Hong Kong

Hazard: Some of these toys contain lead paint, which is toxic if
ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects. Also,
some of the toys have sharp points, posing laceration or puncture wound
hazards.

Incidents/Injuries: Target has received four reports of toys breaking
apart, exposing sharp points. No injuries have been reported.

Description: The recall involves "Kool Toyz" brand toys, including sets
containing die-cast cars, playground set, doll house set, dinosaurs,
trucks, boats and planes. The packaging is primary blue and has the
"Kool Toyz" logo is on the upper left corner of the packaging. The
following chart lists the toys involved in the recall, their item
numbers written on the upper right corner of the packaging, and the
specific hazards they pose:

Product Name / Item Number / Hazard
Truck Carry Case / 087/01/0050 / Lead Paint and Sharp Points
Tiny Playground Set / 086/10/0048 / Lead Paint and Sharp Points
Dream House Play Set / 086/10/0048 / Lead Paint and Sharp Points
Discovery Dinosaur Habitat / 087/01/0011 / Lead Paint
Command Center Action Figure Play Set / 087/01/0034 / Sharp Points
Aircraft Carrier Action Figure Play Set / 087/01/0034 / Sharp Points
Air, Land and Sea Defender Play Set / 087/01/0036 / Lead Paint
Tank Action Figure Play Set / 087/01/0040 / Lead Paint
Helicopter Action Figure Play Set / 087/01/0040 / Lead Paint
Remote Control Trucks / 087/01/0042 / Sharp Points

Sold by: Target Stores nationwide from July 2006 through September 2006
and on Target.com from August 2006 through September 2006 for between
$10 and $20.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should take the products away from children and return
the item to the nearest Target Store for a full refund.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, please contact Target at
(800) 440-0680 between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or
visit the firm's Web site at www.target.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the
recalled products, please go to:
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07035.html

Target Recalls "Play Wonder" Puzzle Tables for Choking and Laceration

2006-11-15T16:19:00.000-05:00

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs
Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 15, 2006
Release #07-034

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 440-0680
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Target Recalls "Play Wonder" Puzzle Tables for Choking and Laceration
Hazards

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in
cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary
recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using
recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: "Play Wonder" Puzzle Tables

Units: About 7,100

Importer/Distributor: Target, of Minneapolis, Minn.

Manufacturer: Sunrise, of China

Hazard: The handles on the puzzle pieces can come off, posing a choking
hazard to young children. Also, the tips of the nails on the inside
shelf of the puzzle table could be exposed, posing a laceration or
puncture hazard.

Incidents/Injuries: Target has received two reports of the pegs coming
off of the puzzle pieces. In one of these reports, a child was found to
be mouthing the pegs. No other injuries were reported relating to these
hazards.

Description: This recall involves a "Play Wonder" brand puzzle table
that contains three nine-piece wooden puzzles inside the table. They are
light blue with paw prints painted across the top of the table. The
table is about 13-inches high when assembled and has green sides. The
"Play Wonder" logo is located in the front lower right corner of the
packaging. Item number 204/12/0162 is located in the front upper right
corner of the packaging.

Sold at: Target stores nationwide and on www.target.com from December
2005 through October 2006 for about $25.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should take the products from children immediately and
return the item to the nearest Target Store for a full refund.

Consumer Contact: For more information, consumers can contact Target at
(800) 440-0680 between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or
log on to the firm's Web site at www.target.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the
recalled products, please go to:
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07034.html

Decorative Snaps and Metal Clips Recalled by Provo Craft Due to Lead

2006-11-15T16:15:00.000-05:00

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs
Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 15, 2006
Release #07-033

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 955-9490
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Decorative Snaps and Metal Clips Recalled by Provo Craft Due to Lead
Poisoning Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in
cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary
recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using
recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Decorative Snaps and Metal Clips

Units: About 76,000

Manufacturer: Provo Craft, of Spanish Fork, Utah

Hazard: The recalled clips and snaps contain high levels of lead. Lead
is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health
effects.

Incidents/Injuries: None reported.

Description: The recall involves the "Rob and Bob Studio Clip-Ease"
metal clips with model numbers 28-1084, 28-1085 and 28-1086 and the "Rob
and Bob Studio Snap-Ease" snaps with model number 28-1080. The product
name and model number can be found on the packaging.

Sold at: Scrapbook stores and craft retailers nationwide from August
2005 through October 2006 for about $6.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should stop using these products immediately and
contact Provo Craft for instructions on how to obtain a full refund.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, please contact Provo Craft
at (800) 955-9490 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. MT, Monday through Friday or
visit the firm's Web site at www.recall.provocraft.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the
recalled products, please go to:
http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07033.html

Thanksgiving's Coming!?

2006-11-14T20:52:00.000-05:00

Already?

Yesterday my father and I were discussing whether I had room in my freezer for the turkey. He mentioned I should probably take it out on Monday. I asked why, he said Thanksgiving is Thursday.

Thanksgiving is next Thursday????

This year has just flown by. It seems like just yesterday we were celebrating my boys' first birthday, and now it's the middle of November. In 3 weeks my birthday is here, and 3 weeks after that it's Xmas.

Has anyone else just had this last year fly by??
Did Thanksgiving sneak up on anyone else too?

Deer!

2006-11-13T15:47:00.000-05:00

I'm against hunting. I hate it. I hate the idea of poor innocent deer being gunned down literally by someone who hides hundreds of feet away, makes me mad. If you want to hunt, do it the way the cavemen did... with a ground rock... make them work for it.

After this morning, I still feel the same, but dang... I hate Deer.

One decided to attack my car this morning. My hubby stopped for one deer, and another ran into the side of the car. So now I have to put my car in the shop and get it fixed.

Ugh.

Deer stories anyone?

Anyone else hit a deer? What happened?

Black Friday #2

2006-11-12T19:34:00.000-05:00

Just a quick follow-up to my post the other day about Black Friday.

My husband and I have spent the day planning strategy. We're sending the boys off to spend the night with their grandparents on Thanksgiving so we can hit some of the online Black Friday deals at midnight, and then it's up bright and early to hit Walmart at 5AM and then run over to Staples at 6. Then to the other stores we want to hit.

What? You don't have your plan of attack mapped out yet??? Shame on you!
Just visit blackfriday.gottadeal.com and check out the sales ads. They have almost all major stores including JC Penney, Sears, Walmart, Lowes, Staples, Office max, Circuit City, Best Buy, and they even have CVS and Walgreens!

Some people shouldn't be allowed to go out in public

2006-11-11T22:21:00.000-05:00

If you remember, 5 years ago Bill Maher showed himself to be an idiot with his remarks about the terrorists. He lost his TV show, and now has a show on HBO. I've seen it, not very impressed with it quite frankly.

At Halloween, the idiot struck again by going to a Halloween party dressed up as Steve Irwin

http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/6603054

To say this was in bad taste is an understatement.

And Where will you be on Black Friday?

2006-11-10T20:58:00.000-05:00

Black Friday is the name given to the day after Thanksgiving. It's when nutcases, like me, get up at insane times in the morning to go camp out in front of our favorite stores for their early (usually 5AM) openings to get the amazing sales.

For example, one year my husband wanted a laptop. Me, being the terrific wife I am got up to get him his special Black Friday laptop. I got up at 4 AM and sleep-drove my way to Best Buy. I then stood out in the cold and rain from 4:30 to 6:00 in my quest to get the laptop. While talking to people in line, I found out the ones that were first in line had gotten there at 10PM the night before....talk about dedication. Three hours later, irritated, laptop in hand, I left the store in victory.

Other memorable Black Fridays... the year of the Furby. I remember my mom, step-dad, and I hitting about 5 stores going through the mad rush as stores opened (back then they all opened different times, so if you were lucky you could hit every opening). After 3 stores, we finally got our Furbies.

Gottadeal.com has started it's yearly countdown to Black Friday. If you are like me and take this stuff seriously, you need to scope out the sales so you can figure out which sale you must be at when the doors open, which store you'll hit next and plan out your morning.

Want to start planning your attack? blackfriday.gottadeal.com

Anything on your wishlist?
Have any Black Friday memories?

Welcome to My Blog

2006-11-10T20:53:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you a little about myself.
I'm 31, the mother of twin boys (born Feb. 2005), and the owner of my own business. I began my business when the boys were born, because between commuting and working, I was out of the house 12 hours a day. I didn't want to be away from my boys that long every day, and started up my business.

This blog.
This blog is a hodgepodge. It'll contain movie, television, and product reviews, as well as musings, things I find interesting, articles, gossip, things my boys are up to, like I said a hodgepodge.

Please feel free to post comments, questions, requests, anything you want!!